Wednesday, June 17, 2015

If you are happy, and you know it...


Joe seems to always be in control of his emotions. He's always happy enough. And if he does get bummed about something, it's difficult to tell the difference. I operate with more peaks and valleys. I experience deep joy and happiness and excitement and sometimes I'm sad or bummed or frustrated. I don't know if it's the difference between men and women, or it's just us. Overall I've been really happy the past 6 years. I love being a mom, I love my three boys, and my life isn't very stressful. However, sometimes I will get frustrated or down, usually as a result of dealing with the little boys' roller coaster emotions too many hours in a row. Joe's advice has always been to choose to be happy. Smile, sit up straight, and WILL yourself to be happy. For me, this advice by itself rarely works. He told me something else he learned that has helped me a lot however. He said that you can think of happiness as a point system. Certain things can bring down your happiness points: crying kids, 100 degree weather, you are in pain, you are sick, plans you are looking forward to getting canceled, etc. On the flip side, there are tons of things that can add points. He suggested making a list of things that make you happy, and if u are feeling like your happiness points are on the low side pull some things from your list and do some of them or if it's a mental thing make an effort to remember and allow it to change your point of view. If I'm tired and feeling a little down, I will take the boys, grab some frozen yogurt and go to the park, for example. Increasing your happiness will look different for everyone. We are all wired differently, and the things that make me happy would probably make someone else unhappy. 
However, I've learned that one of the best things I can do to be a successful wife and mother is to be in a happy, positive, patient state of mind all the time. So I think it's worth thinking about it. I think some people can be happy all the time without trying, like joe, but for me sometimes I have to work at it, and that's ok. I'm thankful for who I am and am trying to become a better version of myself every day. :-) 
 
50 things that make me happy, in no particular order: 
  1. When my boys are both happy 
  2. When my boys are playing together 
  3. Being outside!!! 
  4. 65-75 degree weather
  5. Sunshine 
  6. The God who created the Universe loves me and chooses to have a relationship with me through his Son 
  7. Making memories with my family 
  8. Remembering things we've done as a family (looking at pictures or talking about it)
  9. Trees and flowers and birds 
  10. Fresh air 
  11. Listening to music. I like almost anything except rap. Even kids music can lift my spirits.
  12. Joe singing the hippo song 
  13. Seeing joe smile 
  14. The boys smiling and laughing as long as they aren't being naughty
  15. Hiking 
  16. Checking things off my to do list 
  17. Not spending $ 
  18. Forgiven of my sins
  19. When the boys are well behaved 
  20. Time to myself when boys are sleeping 
  21. Boba 
  22. Any steps forward with our adoption process no matter how small. 
  23. My boys are nervous to try something new, but they do it anyways and like it and are successful at it. 
  24. The boys try an art project or special project I prepare and like it. 
  25. The boys are excited and happy about the plans we have for the day. 
  26. Painting 
  27. Reading books and the Bible 
  28. Going somewhere new, no matter how small and insignificant. A new Target can be exciting!
  29. I am able to help the boys work through a difficult emotional experience successfully! 
  30. Hugs 
  31. Kisses from Joe 
  32. Joe appreciating anything I do and letting me know. 
  33. Sincere compliments about anything.
  34. Talking with a nonjudgmental friend. 
  35. Diffusing my new oils and putting them on me, specifically lavender, stress away, peace and calming, and peppermint. 
  36. Hot tea with honey 
  37. Iced tea 
  38. Coffee with flavored creamer 
  39. Dark chocolate 
  40. Counting my blessings 
  41. Frozen yogurt 
  42. Pho soup 
  43. Fresh, warm bread 
  44. Mochi 
  45. Dreaming about my journeys all over the World. I have a visual memory so I can go back to almost anyplace I've ever been. 
  46. The mountains. 
  47. Museums 
  48. Learning new things. 
  49. Having something challenging to do or somewhere challenging to go with the boys by myself and it goes well. 
  50. Reading out loud to kids

1 comment:

  1. I love this idea. When you are feeling down to add points by doing things that make you happy. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in what we have to do that we forget to do things we enjoy and care about ourselves. I'm going to keep this idea in mind and maybe make my own point list :) Thanks for sharing, Hay! You are an amazing mom and amazing woman of God. I hope to be like you someday... :) and I am thankful to call you my friend!

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