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“Worry not that your child listens to you; worry most that they watch you.” Ronald A Heifetz

 I am the opposite of a procrastinator. I prepare and plan and imagine what will happen before it does and most of the time I am pleasantly surprised that things worked out better than I had hoped. I have been thinking a lot about my children lately. What can I do today that will help them be the person that God and myself want them to be tomorrow? How can I prepare them for the disappointments, the struggles, the blessings, and the uncertainties that they will meet in life? How can I teach them to walk forward with kind words, to not judge others, to listen to those in authority, and so much more?

Being a parent is so hard. I live with my heart walking around outside of my body, not only because I love them so much and never want anything unfortunate to happen to them, but also because I spend all of my energy and all of my time pouring myself into them. Everything I have learned, everything that I am, everything that is important to me I try to impart to them, and it is heartbreaking in a way that only a parent knows when your child chooses to abandon what you have taught them when you take them into the big, wide world. I always hold my breath. Will they listen to me like we have practiced every day for the past five years? Will they respond to the Sunday school teacher in obedience? Will they answer the checkout lady with kindness when she asks them their name?

I want so much for my children, and I was talking to Joe the other day, and he mentioned that we needed to teach them something or other about money management, and I shook my head even though, of course, it has its place in time. My heart is definitely centered during these tender years on their characters. I want them to be kind in their words and actions, to love God and his Word, to be obedient to authority, to appreciate cultural diversity, and to love learning.

And for me it goes a little deeper. My mom works at a school for kids with special needs and has since I was young. I grew up spending time, especially during the summer, with kids with Down syndrome, Blindness, missing limbs, autism, and more. Eli’s biggest struggle recently has been kind words when he is upset at someone. He has come so far in so many areas, and I am so thankful, but this recent hurdle is hard. I want my children to be an example to their peers about kindness to those who struggle: the lonely, the hurting, those who are different. I want them to show the world that everyone is worthy of love, and I pray that I am an example to them in this. We will be going to China next year to welcome our own daughter with a special need. They will be her big brother, and I want them to help teach others why she and all others who have been given challenges are worthy of people’s time, attention, and love. Not only for Bella but for all those like her. I need wisdom to place this foundation.

There are so many things we can choose to teach our children. How to throw a ball, how to draw a bird, how to speak in another language, how to love others. I pray that I am making the most of these years where they soak up the things I say and do because as Max likes to say right now he “loves me so much he will never let me go.”